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I am the king of idiots. I'm not stupid, but I do incredibly dumb things. At some point, I developed this unconscious self-loathing and have since spent most of my waking life trying to destroy myself. For instance, I draw comics. My vocation of choice will limit my contact with the outside world to that of people who dress like Hobbits and speak fluent Klingon. I'm about about two steps from strapping on a pocket protector, taping up my glasses (I don't even wear glasses!), and yanking my pants so far up that my butt cheeks won't recognize each other when I'm in the shower! C'est la vie, eh? ...And that's another thing. I hate the French language. Why did I just use a French expression? You can blame my high school French teacher and her oft empty bottle of medication for my stance on that particular tongue. ...Where was I? Oh, right. How about this one... If I find a woman I'm attracted to, I then manage to de-age to about 7. You know...back in the day when you first started noticing that the opposite sex was somewhat interesting but you didn't know what to do about it. By the time I fully recover, she's already decided that I'm either A) an idiot B) impossibly immature C) psychotic or D) all of the above. Usually "D." So what's the point? Hmm...that question be read a couple ways, but I'm going to take the non-defeatist tone. The point is this: I'm an idiot. If there's ever been a girl who I was attracted to and (for reasons God only knows) was attracted to me but I didn't act on it, sorry. I'm lame and I know it. Monkey out. |
